Rediscovering video games of the past
“Yo! Noid” (Capcom, 1990)
In 1982, “Fast Food” was released for the Atari 2600. Playing as a giant set of lips named Mighty Mouth, the goal was to earn points by scarfing all food in sight while avoiding poisonous purple pickles. Each time you completed a level, a pep talk/caloric warning message flashed onscreen: “YOU’RE GETTING FATTER!” The same year, Data East served up the far superior “BurgerTime” to a hungry public. Protagonist Peter Pepper, in his quest to make perfect burgers, also had to avoid angry pickles. “Fast Food” and “BurgerTime” are the respective nadir and zenith of culinary video games; every other release sits in the vast middle. Which raises the question: is the Noid, the former Domino’s Pizza mascot, a Mighty Mouth or a Peter Pepper?
The Noid, who was introduced to a mildly amused public in 1986, represented all the obstacles and hurdles that could potentially stop Domino’s valiant delivery corps from delivering your pizza in a guaranteed 30 minutes or less. To tell future generations that “Avoid the Noid!” was a popular catchphrase would be as disingenuous as a “Roxette’s Greatest Hits” cassette. Just because it existed doesn’t make it true.
Yet, after four years of media semi-saturation, it was decided that the Noid needed to star in his own video game. Capcom already had a huge hit the year before with their take on Disney’s “DuckTales” and were in the middle of creating their follow-up with “Chip ‘N Dale Rescue Rangers.” To save time in the production of “Yo! Noid,” the company ported over the Japanese game “Masked Ninja Hanamaru.” “Hanamaru” featured a noble ninja roaming Tokyo with a hawk that was both sidekick and weapon. “Yo! Noid” trades the hawk for a yo-yo and Tokyo for a New York City that looks a lot like Tokyo.
The American pizza-fied version follows a time-tested plot: an evil duplicate releases slime creatures upon innocent civilians and only the villain-turned-hero can save them and earn his giant pizza reward. The evil duplicate, a green version of the Noid’s trademark red rabbit costume, is creatively named Mr. Green. Similar to many Capcom games, there is an enormous amount of jumping and shooting — that is to say, yo-yoing.
The lavish attention given to the music and graphics of Capcom’s top-shelf games (“Mega Man,” “Bionic Commando,” etc.) is missing in “Yo! Noid.” Maybe it’s because the project didn’t originate as a Domino’s pizza platform. Maybe it’s because the programmers had a hard time finding inspiration in a pizza-smashing advertising shill who seems more at home in “Donnie Darko” than “DuckTales.” Maybe it’s the upsetting grammatical implications of the title.
“Yo! Noid” isn’t awful. It’s just fine. It plays similarly to “Rescue Rangers,” but with muted colors and unmemorable music that’s best described as Capcom-lite. Is it better than 1992’s McDonald’s-themed “M.C. Kids”? Certainly. Better than 7-Up’s “Cool Spot” games? Not quite. The Noid is more Peter Pepper than Mighty Mouth, but he’ll be better remembered more for his spastic ad campaign than this lowlight of the Capcom library.
Hidden Gem or Total Junk:
Neither, but only worth 30 minutes of your time — or less.