Sticking to your diet? Spending time with family? Traveling with friends? Boring. Why not make your 2015 resolution something more attainable and fun? Like spending hundreds of hours with your real friends and family: fictional television characters.
“Downton Abbey”
PBS, premieres Jan. 5
Though it’s only been five years since creator Julian Fellowes began the class-crossed cult of Downton, much more time has passed in the timeline of the Crawley family — the aristocratic Forest Gumps of early 20th century England. Starting with the 1912 sinking of the Titanic in the pilot episode, there doesn’t seem to be a war, influenza, suspicious land deal, or dance craze that the Earl of Grantham (Hugh Bonneville) and his high-society family — and attendant staff — don’t seem to find themselves right in the middle of. Season five begins in 1924, which leads me to believe the Crawleys will be instrumental in the creation of the first Caesar salad and witness the birth of Benny Hill.
“Better Call Saul”
AMC, premieres Feb. 8
For those missing their “Breaking Bad” fix, morally questionable lawyer Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) returns in this prequel (and, as rumors suggest, a sequel) to the dramatic behemoth that signed off in 2013. Ostensibly the story of how green lawyer Jimmy McGill becomes the strip mall legal legend, it also sees the return of fan-favorite character Mike Ehrmantraut (Jonathan Banks) and the introduction of Jimmy/Saul’s brother Chuck, played by the legendary Michael McKean.
“Two and a Half Men”
CBS, premieres Feb. 19
The embodiment of the American obsession with comedic mediocrity will end its 12th(!) and, thankfully, final season in February. No tears will be shed, and the only merriment heard across the land will be the canned guffaws of the soulless laugh track. What will your in-laws watch after the last episode airs? Fear not: the show will air in syndication in perpetuity.
“CSI: Cyber”
CBS, premieres March 4
Have I got a show for you! Take an Arquette — not that one, the other one. No, the other one, Patricia Arquette — and add Dawson (James Van Der Beek) and Bow Wow (née Little Bow Wow) to head up crime scene investigations that, after entries in Las Vegas, Miami, New York, and New Orleans, naturally turn up in the corpse-filled world of e-mail phishing, competitive solitaire, and PowerPoint crimes of passion. Not to be confused with “NCIS: BBS,” premiering in 2016.
“Daredevil”
Netflix, premieres in May
Marvel’s blockbuster deal with Netflix ditches the sub-par 2003 adaptation of “Daredevil” and re-tells the origin story of blind lawyer Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox of “Boardwalk Empire”) and his transformation into the vigilante who haunts Hell’s Kitchen in New York City. Like other Netflix series, “Daredevil” will see the release of its 13-episode first season all at once this May. It’s the first in a wave of Marvel Comics-inspired shows. “A.K.A. Jessica Jones” has its own first season later in the year. “Iron Fist,” “Luke Cage,” and “The Defenders,” a mini-series incorporating storylines from all four shows, follow within the next year.
“The Late Show with David Letterman”
CBS, airs May 20
After 33 years of late night dominance, David Letterman will abdicate his throne to Stephen Colbert in late May. Many will tune in to see Letterman’s last few victory laps; watch pets perform their last stupid tricks; see sycophantic bandleader Paul Shaffer throw it over to Dave one last time, and witness Letterman as he introduces his last Top Ten list. In a late-night landscape filled with viral videos and over-the-top stunts, Letterman’s style may now seem old fashioned, but it should be remembered he’s responsible for breaking out of the template set by Johnny Carson. If only Larry “Bud” Melman could have made it until the final curtain.
“Game of Thrones”
HBO, airs this spring
Pack your sunscreen for the sunny shores of Dorne, when “Thrones” returns for its fifth season. The southern tip of Westeros — the land where the majority of the battles, sex, and palace intrigue take place — will receive more of the spotlight this season as viewers meet more of the Martell family tree. Dorne native Oberyn Martell (Pedro Pascal) was featured in one of the most talked-about storylines on television in 2014, making anticipation high for what the rest of his family will bring to the story. New cast members this season include Keisha Castle-Huges (“Whale Rider”), Jonathan Pryce (“Brazil”), and Alexander Siddig (“Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”).
“Mad Men”
AMC, airs this spring
Notoriously tight-lipped creator Matthew Weiner has said that this seven-episode companion piece to the first half of last spring’s season seven — which was entitled “The Beginning” — will be “the end of an era.” The theme addresses both the end of the show and the end of the 1960s. Last season ended with the moon landing. With Nixon in the White House and the day-glo colors of the counterculture ceding creative control to the browns and oranges of the 1970s, ad man Don Draper (Jon Hamm) will have to decide once and for all if there’s still room for his vision at Sterling Cooper & Partners in a decade that warned of ring around the collar and asked the eternal question, “Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper too?”
“Westworld”
HBO, 2015
Based on Michael Crichton’s classic 1973 sci-fi film, this highly anticipated remake premieres sometime in 2015, with Jonathan Nolan and J.J. Abrams behind the scenes and Anthony Hopkins, James Marsden, Thandie Newton, and Ed Harris starring in what HBO calls, “a dark odyssey about the dawn of artificial consciousness and the future of sin.” Did I mention it takes place in an amusement park? Did I mention that nothing can possibly go wrong?